Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
