im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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