what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
