What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
