New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
