you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
