yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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