I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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