I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
