Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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