Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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