By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
