You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
