I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
