i permit you to call me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
