we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
