i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
