i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Text me some of your sweat
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
