no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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