you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
