Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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