It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
