I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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