Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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