I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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