Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
