The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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