I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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