Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
