worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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