You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
