I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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