I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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