careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
