So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
