so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
