yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
