marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
