don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
