Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
