my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
