she was so not down for the gang bang
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
