no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
