So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Do vagina's smell?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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