Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They have beer where we have blood.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
