a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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