Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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