last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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