my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
