I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
