That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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