1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
