It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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