She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The maid of honor just puked.
even my farts smell like vagina
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
