I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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